Christians are straight up FREAKS
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
