Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
