dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
