Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
