dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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