Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
