Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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