we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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