so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
