There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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