I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
