so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize