I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
