i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
