Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize