why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
