think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
