Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
