It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
