Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize