I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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