I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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