i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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