Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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