What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
