You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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