Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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