Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
