youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
