We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
