Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
