I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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