There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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