I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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