It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
