my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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