I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
