Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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