would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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