Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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