gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
