Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
smell my finger.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
