pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize