I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
