I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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