doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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