marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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