based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize