Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
