used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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