She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
