whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
