Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize