why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize