you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
