Do you still have your period?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
