woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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