Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize