shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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