Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
