It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
