Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
