he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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