ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Dick very happy bro
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
