You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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