New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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