It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
