his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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