you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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