You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
