no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize