I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
