she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
