Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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