Don't you send me to vm
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
